A Day before my Last Chemotherapy

Hey everyone..

Tomorrow is my last chemotherapy session... Just few hours left..πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

I don't know what I feel right now.. I can't find words to explain my emotions now..

Its been 154 days since I started this terrible treatment  called chemotherapy... I have been smiling through this.. But a very few can understand the real pain behind that smile.. That smile wasn't fake.. That was real.. I am just telling this world that.. If I can smile through this pain.. You can smile through ur pain...

Many messaged me.. stating "When I am low and depressed I think of you shruti.. you smile through so much pain.. compared to you my problems are nothing.. and that's how I bring back positivity in my life" 

I have recieved the above message in different ways for the past 6 months..πŸ˜‡

But you know what makes me smile.. I know that many people out there suffer a lot more than I do.. I am grateful for the life I have.. πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡


*I am grateful that I am living this moment and I want it to be happy..

*I am grateful that I got a bonus day.. I can't afford to cry and waste that day...

*I am grateful that my cancer is curable..

*I am grateful that I am able to afford my treatment cost..

*I am grateful that I have a lot of friends to support me..

*I am grateful that my parents and relatives stood to support me through this..

*I am grateful that I have both healthy and delicious food in my plate..

*I am grateful that I travel by car everytime to the hospital...

*I am grateful that my doctor is a bundle of positivity and has never uttered a word that would bring me down..

*I am grateful that all the nurses and hospital workers have taken good care of me from the first day of my treatment..

*I am grateful to all the operation theater doctors and workers, twice inside the theater I went, but came back alive..

*I am grateful that from day one in the process of diagnosing all the doctors throughout the journey led me to the correct diagnosis and did not mislead me at any point...


Do u know, why I am grateful for all these stuff.. Because I know that many of the cancer patients don't have all these..❀❀


Now.. Today.. At the present moment....


My body is completely down and weak..

All my joints are painful..

My ankle hurts even if I stand for 5 mins..

My wrist hurts as soon as I start writing..

My gums hurt everytime I eat and brush my teeth..

Every food that I ate during chemotherapy gives me nausea..

Smell of my favorite food gives me vomiting..

My head feels heavy.. And I am in the state of constant confusion..

My skin is very sensitive.. even luke warm water can cause irritation...

My eyes are watery always.. becoz chemo has eaten away my eyelashes...

My head has bald patches here and there...

I have lost sensation in my toes.. and gradually even my feet is losing sensations.. 

I am not able to climb up stairs.. My knees have become so much weak..


On the whole.. My body is not physically and emotionally the same..πŸ™

But my inner soul has never stopped dancing.. has never stopped smiling..

Now.. It has started flying.. it is getting ready for tomorrow.. getting ready to kick cancer in its butt..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚



Comments

  1. Harshini27 May 2021 at 10:19

    You truly are a warrior❀. Much love.

    ReplyDelete
  2. pavithraa Karthikeyan27 May 2021 at 20:38

    You are truly awesome.. you r spreading positivity around the world..I really don't know how much you suffered.. but at the end you won that's what really matters... The posts and highlights brightened the smile of cancer patients... They too believed they will win after seeing your smile... To be honest I'm very scared of sickness... I'm scared of getting cancer... After seeing your posts I feel whatever comes let me handle like you did... Loving you so much

    ReplyDelete
  3. Subhashini Francis29 May 2021 at 21:15

    Love you babe οΏ½οΏ½. You are awesome. Full of positivity. A positivity attitude always brings happiness in everyone life.οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½

    ReplyDelete
  4. RJ πŸ‘‘β€οΈ Rajapriya3 June 2021 at 11:17

    God bless you wonder woman ❀️❀️

    ReplyDelete
  5. RJ πŸ‘‘β€οΈ Rajapriya3 June 2021 at 11:17

    God bless you wonder woman ❀️❀️

    ReplyDelete
  6. Madhumathi Palaniappan4 June 2021 at 08:36

    Just want to say love you β™₯️

    ReplyDelete

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