Atelier - A Mirage of Memories

I have been writing this for a long time now, but I don't know how my loved ones and everyone around me would react to this. I have been having this in my mind for around 6 months now and I did not know how to handle it. My best way always was to write it down and here I am doing it finally. This is not to hurt anyone or to portray negativity. This is to tell you guys how I feel and also to make you know that I am not positive always.  During chemotherapy everyday someone would tell me.. "this will be over soon and you will be back to normal" I believed it at that time.. But it did not happen.. and my life is not normal again and I understand it will never be normal again..  My close people told me.. We would celebrate after I win over cancer.. But even after my chemotherapy is over.. even after my scan reports are clear.. I am not ready to celebrate as I am still fighting cancer.. And you know what is the worst part.. Even now the blame game continues.. When I was diagno...

 I don't know where to start or where to end..  I wrote 3 chapters of my cancer story.. I had people messaging me that they are waiting for my next chapter... Sorry guys.. U have to wait longer😍 I am in the process of writing a book.. Will be publishing my complete story in that.. U will have to wait till that book is published.. I got my final report.. That stated I am cancer free... Doctor suggested some diet and lifestyle changes.. I have to be in constant followup for the next 5 years.. Still recovering from the side effects of chemotherapy.. Other than these.. I am happy and I am healthy... 😍😍 Everyone around me said I can do it and I will win cancer.. But what no one said was.. How my personality would change after this journey...🙈 Cancer never ends.. It stays with you even when your treatments are over.. It didn't go away even when the report stated so.. It has become a part of me.. And has changed me into a completely different person.. 🥰 I started lov...

Hey everyone.. Tomorrow is my last chemotherapy session... Just few hours left..😄😄 I don't know what I feel right now.. I can't find words to explain my emotions now.. Its been 154 days since I started this terrible treatment  called chemotherapy... I have been smiling through this.. But a very few can understand the real pain behind that smile.. That smile wasn't fake.. That was real.. I am just telling this world that.. If I can smile through this pain.. You can smile through ur pain... Many messaged me.. stating "When I am low and depressed I think of you shruti.. you smile through so much pain.. compared to you my problems are nothing.. and that's how I bring back positivity in my life"  I have recieved the above message in different ways for the past 6 months..😇 But you know what makes me smile.. I know that many people out there suffer a lot more than I do.. I am grateful for the life I have.. 😇😇😇 *I am grateful that I am living this moment and I w...

It's been a long time since I posted the 2nd chapter of my Cancer story.. My health was not so good.. Its deteriorating, but I know I will be back on my feet, I will not be running but will soon start flying to every corner in this world.. CHAPTER THREE - My Theatre Diary So as I said the day started off pretty soon.. It was 6 am.. Me and my friend just woke up.. I was not supposed to drink water and that is when all of a sudden you will start feeling thirsty. I brushed my teeth, took a bath and had to wear a theater gown. I looked like a doll but wearing a theater gown without any undergarments was kind of funny on my skin. A nurse came in to check on me, she asked me to do a center partition to my hair and braid it. Oops.. my hair has always been short, I told them that it will be difficult, I will do a bun and wear a surgical cap. I did it they tied a tag to my wrist and we were waiting for the clock's arm to reach 09:00. A nursing superintendent visited me, she saw me in th...

 Please Note: This message is not only for the males but to everyone who wished me today From morning my inbox is flooded with women's day wishes. Thank you for all those who wished me.. ❤😍 But think for a moment, do you really respect every woman in your life as a human being and do you respect them everyday.. To all those who wished me today.. Want to ask you some questions.. #Have you respected your mother for everything she has done these many years for you?? #Have you praised your mother for something she tried, out of her comfort zone? #Have you sat down with your mother just to listen to everything she has lost in her life just because she wanted to be a good mother?? #Have you ever congratulated your sister on her victory?? #Have you respected all women in your life for what they truly are rather treating them as just beauty models? #How many days did you live without passing a comment on a girl based on her looks? #How many days have passed without using an abusive word t...

CHAPTER TWO - Secret behind the Shadows 1st Dec 2020, everyone wanting the horrible year to end soon and me just hoping my X-ray to be Normal. But it was not, the doctor found some mediastinal widening, he asked me to do more tests. The doctor suspected to be Tuberculosis and even I thought it could be TB, I must have contracted it from my patients. 2 days passed, got my CT report, for the first time I got shattered because of my report. The report stated that I have enlarged lymph nodes all over my mediastinal area. It could be Tuberculosis but the report also stated another word "LYMPHOMA". My mom started crying and my adrenaline was in its peak.  I called my doctor, he gave me some confidence and told me not to decide anything until the biopsy confirms the diagnosis. I was not in Chennai, had to go to another doctor in Coimbatore. Thanks to my doctor again, he referred me to the right person. The doctors decided to do an excision biopsy of the nodule in my neck.  ...